Pursuing a dream
Michelle contacted us a few weeks ago with an idea to write a piece about her dream of becoming an actress. We thought this was a wonderful idea as it is always inspiring to hear how people in our community are pursuing their dreams. Here is the piece she wrote about her dream and struggle of becoming an actress + some of her absolute favorite movies!
My name is Michelle Radtke, I am currently 15 years old and soon to be 16. I spend a lot of my time watching movies, reading, meeting up with my friends and daydreaming about the films and characters I wanna create someday. Both of my parents are polish, but I was born and raised in Berlin. I always thought that living in Berlin would come with benefits since you have films all around you. So many films take place in Berlin or are shot here. Living here is very cool, as you have so much history and so much future around you at the same time, and also so many different people and different cultures. But the thing is, it's very difficult to find any castings here, which is sort of weird. So I try to be around acting schools, theatres etc as much as I can, which is not always easy but I try my best.
I got into films when I was around 13 but I've been fascinated by movies since I was little. In school we often discussed jobs and what we want our future to look like. I always knew that I wanted to be some kind of artist and express myself, not only for myself but also for others. I think acting is a very personal process. Sometimes you get very caught up by where you want to be and where you are right now, and it gets scary and you feel empty. I think it's important to be calm, patient and hard working. Probably not only when you're acting but also in general.
I've never acted in front of more than 5 people (auditions). Well I have, but that was in 4th grade, so it was not a big deal. I would love to act in a theatre someday. I don't understand why people don't like the theatre, it's the realest work an actor can do. Standing bare in front of an audience, manufacturing so many emotions at once. No space for flaws or failures, no cuts and no editing. No green room, just raw talent. It upsets me that people don't appreciate this enough.
I'm actually a very shy person, but somehow when it comes to acting it's a different thing. I'm about to graduate from middle school and then I'll have to go to school for three more years before I can graduate. After that I really wanna study something film related and fully concentrate on acting and filmmaking. I just hope everything works out. I know that it's a hard, long and probably exhausting process, but I'm okay with that as long as I end up where I want to be.
When I first told my parents that I wanted to be an actress they weren't all to happy. I guess there are just scared that I will get my heart broken by not getting where I want. I understand that and I know that it lays in my hands. Because it's about me, I need to focus on the whole thing and stop doubting myself.
Film means the world to to me and my favourite films have shaped me in ways i cannot explain. What I love the most about films is that they can bring you on a journey, and they can help you understand issues, situations and emotions. They can educate and make you feel different about some topics. They connect. These are experiences that gets under your skin and stay there for quite some time. Some films make you angry, some make you cry, some make you laugh, some make you want to scream at the top of your lungs. Some of them are so mesmerising that you talk about them for hours and days and weeks and months and years. Films make you feel. And that's exactly what I want to do. I want to make money by making people feel all these emotions. What I would love to see more of is diversity and strong female characters. More women in lead roles. More human characters.